If I were to make a sweeping assumption, I would say that everyone feels like this at one point or another. It is natural to feel overwhelmed, and being a productive, hyper-motivated person is not always the healthiest mode of operating for most people.
I feel unmotivated right now. The house needs to be dusted and mopped, and I have no interest in making dinner. I struggle with depression, and I am extremely sensitive to negative energies. Eventually, I perk up and feel up to life, but for now, I don’t feel like doing anything. At times like these, we must remember that it is okay to feel unmotivated. It’s okay to fall apart. It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit our needs and what we might lack—that is where the real work begins.
When I feel healthy and emotionally stable, I practice good habits that keep the house under control. When I don’t, usually what happens is this: I let the house get to a point where I can’t, in good conscience, let it get any dirtier than it already is, I then become extremely hard on myself and my family, and follow the lack of interest by going on a cleaning bender. I’m not quite there yet, maybe in another week, after my menstrual cycle ends.
The last time that I truly had to pull it together was also the time when I learned that I can let those who love me take care of me. I don’t have to be as strong as I thought was necessary.
Culturally, as a woman, I have a desire to nurture, heal and make beautiful all that I see that is troubled or upsetting. I tend to extend grace to those around me but become extremely hard on myself. I am learning how to accept my patterns and be alright with my depression, shortcomings and, yes, my dirty floor. I am not Super Mom or a domestic goddess, I am a person trying to hold it all together without cracking under the pressures and circumstances of our modern world.
When I tell myself that I can’t pick up a vacuum, write a song or pick up a pencil, I know that the laundry is waiting for me. This can feel oppressive or can serve as a lifeline. Stick to simple, mundane tasks; the laundry is perfect for this. Don’t think too much, just move your body—go through the motions, you will get to the other side. When I am caught up, feeling on top of the home and confident, I am ready to create, explore and push myself (metaphorically and physically) out the door.
This is a very vulnerable feeling for me, but it brings me to the question of motivation: If you don’t feel like doing anything, just take care of yourself in slow, quiet ways. The chores around the home can be a kind of gateway into a fuller, deeper expression of self if you let them. When we take the time to explore our depression and heal from past wounds, we can take steps in a more fulfilled direction. Action, participation and inspiration are found in the creation of every meal. You might not be used to tasting the subtle flavors of this energy, but you will eventually embody it.
To break it down, I do a half-hearted feather-dusting every couple of days. This keeps the dust down. I give myself a break for feeling unmotivated. I don’t have to be on top of my game 100 percent of the time. My home doesn’t fall apart when I get depressed. I follow the rules that I set up for myself and let my family take care of me. For instance, clean-up after dinner entails clearing the table, doing the dishes, wiping all counters, putting away clean dishes, changing the table linens, vacuuming and tidying of common spaces. As a family, we do these tasks together. It takes 15 to 20 minutes to complete, and it is crucial to how our family functions. We also have a baseline for what is an acceptable amount of clutter and dirt. I am finding that this baseline moves with the family’s ability to be better and more efficient at cleaning, as we mold good habits and hold each other accountable for our common spaces.
Illustration by Lois Volta
When we learn routines, we can carry good form throughout our lives, even through the darkest times. Many times I feel as though my modus operandi has been learned through the lessons brought by hard times and doubt. How foolish would I be if I did not recognize this and respect my strength? I can usher in gratitude for myself and those who support me, and know that today feels a little better than yesterday. Feelings of being unmotivated are temporary and we should be able to weigh negative feelings against positive ones.
So, do your best. One step at a time. When we are unmotivated and down, it is important to let ourselves heal, but part of the healing process includes cleanliness, maintenance and simply doing the dishes. Take care of yourself and embody who you are, an ever-expanding, creative being who has enough sense to put their life in order.
Lois Volta is a home consultant, musician and the founder of Volta Naturals. Have a question? Send it to thevoltaway@loisvolta. com.
